thoughts on the spot

I can't think of 1 now

2008-02-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

Extracts from my job scope:

1. Personal Responsibility

- Be a role model for everyone in 01 to look up to

- Stand by your word

3. Responsibility to the Batch

. For those who are not as involved, ensure they have an enjoyable experience in venturing, and to encourage and inspire them to be more involved. Pull those who have strayed from the path of scouting to return to the 01 way of life. Constantly ensure they do not revert back to their former condition should they attend activities again.

L-O-L. I can't believe i typed that.

Anyway, I did my speech for the khao lak presentation today... I think it's the best speech I've come up with so far. And upon reflection, I figured it was most probably because I found so much meaning in this Khao Lak Trip. When you believe in what you're doing, the turnouts can be really unimaginable. It's so easy to just do things, but it's really a challenge to find meaning in what you do.

Sigh.. and there're so many things right now which I'm doing... and which I think are meaningless. Oh dear, oh dear.

pillar of strength

2008-01-24T21:09:00.000+08:00

i feel my fighting spirit coming back =)

venturing's not going to be as fun as scouting, i suppose. as yanzhi said, all the fun acts will be gone. yes, venturing might be more fruitful and challenging, but for the playful zhixuan, i think being a PL and heading hawk (alliteration) will be alot more interesting. after all, i like leading. the roles of the VEXCO are really more for planning and organisation.

talking with jeremy sort of revived my fighting spirit. he's a really good ccal, and i dun want to become a burden to him. i'll not be his slave either -- i'm going to be working with him side by side. definitely jeremy's alot stronger than me in task management. however, i realised that there's a difference in our leadership and working styles. he's firm, strong and directive. he's able to control the batch and get things done efficiently. his performance has been amazing and he's really a guy to look up to (literally, too).

he scored a high 'D' on his personality test, and i scored a high 'I'. as the test results show, i'm manipulative and i like to influence other ppl. i believe there'll definitely be areas which i'm stronger in. i'm really fired up now! i want to become the ventures' pillar of strength =)

this isn't an excuse for my mistakes luh. i'm going to learn from him - be serious when needed and improve on task management. i think the latter's pretty okay, but the part about being serious i really need to work on.

i really need to thank him. this wanting to catch up with him has and will help me improve.

this year, i'll be their pillar of strength

question answered

2008-01-20T19:55:00.000+08:00

" To you as an individual drawing a few smiley faces or writing names or
stuff on the poles may be nothing much, since we have 100s of poles
and a couple of faces here and there is nothing serious. True enough,
that is not the problem. What is the problem is that being ventures if
we don't take you to task over this the SU will see it as a precedent
and then do the same.

If each person drew 5 smileys, every year, before long all our poles
would be filled with smileys. We put in the effort to sort the poles,
bundle them by height, store them in a pole shed, separate the
coloured poles to make our poles look presentable for competitions,
and to keep them well-maintained. The poles are group property, the
jobweek money from past generations of scouts, as well as your own,
and your juniors all go into the buying of poles and their
maintenance. By drawing on the pole you are effectively labelling it
yours, when all you do is own a share of it. Its the same reason why
the school does not permit you to draw on walls even if drawing on the
walls does not retard the function of the wall.

The reason why we need you guys to set the example is simple. Look at
the den for the past few months before we've moved. If you've noticed,
the sofas were full of bags such that people couldn't sit on them. It
just started with one person placing his bag there, nobody saying
anything, so the next person did the same, and the next, and so on."

" On a final note, as to the pole management session the GC was really
quite happy about the effort you guys put in, and how you helped the
SU with their tasks. It was commendable the way most of you looked
around to see what could be done and took the initiative to do it when
there was sufficient manpower at the painting station. It is really
unfortunate that that one incident marred the whole good image we
received. I genuinely felt that on the whole your actions were
praiseworthy, but it only takes just one event to tarnish reputation
that is painstakingly built up."

My training leader has sent a mail to the entire batch when I feel it should just be directed towards me. Jonathan doesn't have internet access. Well, that just further reinforces my point about making me feel guilty. But hell yeah, it's the right move to make. Come to think of it, this has been the policy the people up there have been abiding by when dishing out punishments for the past few years.

I feel so sorry towards my batch who have painstakingly built up such a solid reputation with their 5 hours of hard work in the sun. I alone tarnished it. This email is great, for now I have more things to reflect upon. Kudos to Yanzhi.

No really, I am going to carry out my resolution. 4K for joy, 4K for joy. It's only that few hours per week. I can get past it, I know I can.

smileys in agony

2008-01-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking quite a bit. I think it's good that I drew those smiley faces today, because it really is quite a good trigger to start this chain of thought which I should have been through at the moment I received notice I'm to be the ACCAL for 2008...

Pole management activity today was boring. We sit under the sun and just measure/paint/move/bundle poles. Being the guy I am, when I was marking out the height of the poles, I drew a smiley face on each of them. Like this --> =)

I stopped after awhile, because Sarun told me not to and wanted me to paint emulsion over them. But I didn't. And there were quite a few poles (about 7 i think) which had smiley faces on them.

At the end of the activity, the J1s pointed me out and gave a scolding.

I didn't and still don't see how these smiley faces warrant a punishment. Perhaps it just further shows my immaturity. Or to the J1s and Jeremy, it's a 'definitely'. I mean, I told SJ about this and i could talk to him about it since he's not in the group. He just gave me a =_= look. Apparantly he didn't think it was... logical.

I wrote down "Be a respectable ACCAL" in my goal-settings worksheet. I really want to do my job as an ACCAL. Seriously. But I've come to realise to do so would mean sacrificing a lot, and changing who I am just to fit the role. I've beaten so many capable batchmates of mine to attain this position, and I have the obligation to them and to the rest of the group to do a good job.

But... I'm fun-loving. I'm playful. Do I have to rid of all that to become 'respectable'? Yeah sure, just tell me there's a time to be serious and a time not to. I think i'll just play safe and be serious whenever I'm acting in the capacity of an ACCAL. But I really can't be stern and serious and discipline/talk to my batchmates as if I'm their training leader. It is just totally not my style. They're my friends, and I'm theirs. We screw around, dude. That's the way it goes.

Do I need to be like Jeremy or the J1s to be a good role model? The guy standing upfront, reporting attendance, turning around to ensure we aren't fidgeting or chit-chatting... I prefer to stand at the back and mingle with them. I feel so much more at ease.

Maybe I'm just not made to be respectable.

Oh yes, and as the ACCAL I'm supposed to bring the batch together? But yeah well, I find myself guilty of segregation at times. Some scars run too deep, and some friends are... perhaps just not meant to be? It's funny how Jeremy and I have become good friends when previously we were angsting each other. And I'm telling you that was because of me. Perhaps it was a bit of jealousy at work... for he was so serious, so disciplined, and that was something I found so hard to do. Rather, now I've fallen out with a friend whom I've tried so hard to befriend before. I think the relationship collapsed because of a particular incident, but that only acted as a trigger. I think the root of the problem lay in the accumulation of things we've done to destroy this bond... the countless 'pangsehs' and whatnot. Whatever it is, i find it hard to look into his face and talk. Or their faces. To just talk normally. But fret not, the working relationship ensues. Yeah yeah colleagues work not as well as with friends, but I'm sorry I can't force myself to do it. This is the whole point of this blogpost anyway.

I shouted a bit at Yanwei today, and he had done the same. I think it's okay since we're batchmates /close friends. The weather was hot, and we were shack. But one lesson I've learnt is that as a leader there are these times when you just have to be more mature/compromising when your constituents argue with you, or if they're being unreasonable. You're the leader, the one with more experience and the one more 'wise'. That is not to say Yanwei was being unreasonable or whatnot, because we were just shag. But it triggered the learning point all the same.

I really hope not to lose any more friends within the batch already. I would be... so sad if that happens... especially if the ogre whom I bring onto the bus daily falls out with me. I'm afraid the constant repetitions of 'ogre' and 'polar bear' might be causing psychological hurt to it, and it might just run away. I think I shall clarify that soon. And my confidante of course, whom I always talk to and screw around with. 3 years together and if we were to split now it'd just be so sad. No no, not these 2 definitely. And of course the rest whom I value as well.

The best way out for me to accept that my friends are imperfect is to deplore at my own imperfections. Seriously I'm so damn lucky I still have friends after I did an analysis of myself. I seriously don't deserve to have friends. I should have been a loser whom everyone ostracizes and kicks aside. Some people can just be so nice... But they should be taken advantage of.

I'm starting to find myself to be a liability to the batch. Last year, I ruined everyone's shot at CCA (chief commisioner's award). To put it nicely, I had integrity. To tell the truth, I was being retarded. Of course my batch didn't bring it up. But that doesn't mean they don't blame me deep down in their hearts. Hey dude, I blame myself too.

Oh and yes, last year I was being rude to Leonard on the phone... which of course added to the batch's count and angered the J1s even more. I wished they'd just keep me back, scold, pump and do whatever they want with me instead of doing my whole batch in. Perhaps that's their plan... to make me feel guilty. Which is what happened during today's activity. It feels so much worse when I get my friends into trouble than when I own myself.

Jeremy is the chairman, for obvious reasons. Chu Yong is personable, enthusiastic, a moraliser and the one who brings the batch together. Jonathan is mature and responsible. Haoqin is organised and a great secretary. The 2 QMs have carried out their roles dutifully, and more than that they're great partners to work with. The members have initiative and their efficiency is admirable. Perhaps I have some of these traits too, but as an ACCAL, what value do I add to the batch?

During the previous years, there was only 1 ACCAL. And perhaps it should have remained as one.

But I do like to lead. I like being the leader. When Ben Hong referred to Jeremy as the boss and me as his slave, I didn't feel too comfortable... but hey, on further thought, perhaps that's the reality of it - just that I haven't been doing a good job as his slave.

During the meeting Jeremy said that the 3 of us would cooperate and work together... But so far this hasn't been the case. The fact remains that Jeremy is great, with or without me. What value do I add to the batch? While he handles community day, I'm more concerned with celebrating their birthdays... Gosh, it is only when i type this out that I notice how stupid I seem. Or I am.

It is perhaps the first time in my life that I feel so pressurised. That's the price to pay, I guess. I feel like I'm nearly going to explode. I've tried to tell myself to keep quiet, to shut up and just... act normal. But it's so tough, really. During the meeting I tried to tell myself to shut up but I just had to talk. Last year after I got punished for being rude to Leonard, I told myself to 'type my proposals like I'm supposed to'. And Eric told me that an ACCAL is not just supposed to type proposals... then what am I supposed to do? Just fade out? That's a possibility, I guess.

But now, seriously, I'll try. I'll try to maintain that image I'm supposed to maintain. It will be hard, but if I have no one to screw around with, then I won't screw around, right? Then I just have to tell people not to screw around with me... I can always screw around the moment 01 activities end. =)

I'm not being bitter or anything, but seriously I think this is true. It is just in the nature of being an ACCAL that I'm not supposed to screw around. And perhaps, just perhaps, I shouldn't join the GC next year. I'm not being arrogant, but I think I'll most probably get in if I want to. But once again, what can I do for the group? If you're in the GC and you screw around... That's it man. And there're people who can do the job better than me anyway. I shouldn't waste their chances, and I shouldn't be so selfish to drag the group down. I don't like being a liability. I won't join the GC till I can convince myself I'm capable enough. Yes, I'm not being bitter. This is the truth. I can't have passion for the job if i have to force myself to act and do things I don't like.

Oh and... as Yanwei would term them... I have to settle the issues with my 'emotional commitments' soon. I'll rid of all these stress. I have to focus for the year ahead. It's time to end it, i guess.

I've learnt so much from Hue and Khao Lak. Hue, many lessons... and one that is rather painful. Khao Lak, just the sweet memories. =) Innocence is really something so out of reach in modern societies. I swear humans grow just to complicate matters. I swear. =P

I'm not emo, fyi! It's just that I only blog when I'm emo. Therefore I'd only be seen when I'm emo and I'd be assumed to be emo. But I'm usually very happy! =)

I AM NOT BEING BITTER! THIS IS A POST TO REMIND ME OF WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO IMPROVE!

2nd day of lessons...!

2008-01-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

lol i don't know how long i'm going to keep doing this..

but anyway had my first soccer lesson! it was a bit sad la cuz i was sort of like the best in my team of 3, and i can't kick the ball. yeah well... but the passing was fun.... at least we can pass...

i think i shall play soccer more often... otherwise we'd really get owned during inter UG. it can be batch-bonding activity as well... =D

i fell asleep during year head assembly... and it was Mr. Tan talking! =O

went lib to chiong plogs after that, though wasn't too productive... still chionging now... and i shall chiong all the way! no falling asleep tonight again!

wish me luck... =)

1st day back in class!

2008-01-07T20:41:00.000+08:00

Whoah finally stepped into the 4K classroom... miss my class so much ><

I think it's great we get to start afresh... with many things... one of them being the sitting arrangements. I'm sitting beside Yi Wei now...! I'll finally have someone to wake me up if i do doze off, and someone to guide me along when I don't understand stuff in class. In the past Wayne and I will both just foam together... hahaha...

We started the day off with CLE. Timo lied to me and told me Mr. Ola would be taking us for CLE, and he nearly drove me to tears... Then Ms. Goh walked in! Wah hahaha! I think she's a great teacher, especially for CLE. I think the difference in having an impactful teacher and one that is not is that you actually get something out of CLE... and i think Ms. Goh would teach us quite some stuff... Her sharing on her biggest blast over the hols became Jun Yong's biggest inspiration... *smirk smirk*

Ms. Kek turned out to be better than i thought. It seems physics wouldn't be that disastrous... as compared to last year =P

Mr. Vijay would be teaching us math again! I think after 1 year i've come to accept him and really he's quite a nice teacher. I'll pay attention to him from now on and hope my grades will improve... =S

Chemistry turned out to be the funniest lesson of the day, with Mr. Chong screwing around... =P Sigh the jokes aren't funny on-screen, but we were all bowling over with laughter in class, especially with Timo the class clown!

It seems the sciences and math would be quite mundane and tiring (syllabus-wise)... as usual... but i shall try my best for them anyway... math will be with whether i like it or not... =S

Ms. Kuang and Mr. Yuen went on about the showcase portfolio with us... and I'm gonna start hunting for the pieces of work. No, burg, i'm not being kiasu... I'm just... being prepared. muahaha!

Oh and i need to prepare my 1 min speech on "the defense for my need".... Good game. =)

S1 Orientation!

2008-01-06T14:40:00.000+08:00

Well it's finally over... 2-3 months of work... though i've to say my involvement in preparations before the camp wasn't too much... but i made it up during the camp itself

Full on anticipation on the first day, i told myself sec 1s would be sec 1s and i should not expect too much from them. True enough there was a severe lack of class spirit (they just met, definitely still 30 strangers). Fair enough, we told them what to do, and hoped they'd do it. Towards the end of the station games, we saw a bit of that unity which we hoped to attain at the end of the orientation programme.

During war games, i didn't really see them, cuz i was screwing around with a few other PSLs. Then Jonathan leaked something out (don't trust him with secrets, ppl) which i wasn't supposed to know. I got really quite pissed and i wanted to go bash the guy up, even though he might be bigger than me. But i sort of remembered my new year's resolution, and so i told myself to calm down a bit and stop acting so fiery. I mean like this is one thing tt's been told to me countless times.

Guys, please, respect other ppl's privacy. Just because your phone has a lock function it doesn't mean you can go around screwing with other ppl's phones. Those words were not meant for you, and if you consider yourself his friend then don't intrude into his life. If he wants to share those things with you he would. Ask for permission first, please. 4 years in RI so stop acting so self-centred. I know the idiot who did this most probably won't read this post, so for other ppl it's just a reminder... It really pisses people off, but i think y'all know already la =)

Well so anyway i had to end the day off with that on my mind. It's quite hard to dao and avoid him because he obviously doesn't know he has done anything wrong (since he doesn't know Jonathan told me in the first place) but yeah... I went down to help with Raffles Trail Prep. I was super tired by then but a few PSLs and me (incl. imba said) helped to cut and paste the super big white paper for the 'Lasair' on the ground. On that day, we had like 3 hours of sleep (slightly more). =S

The next day, well was quite good at the start. During the water games i thought i saw a few ppl who were very open and friendly. One member of my class felt he was being ostracized and wanted to skip the games, but i 'forced' him to take part and the moment i brought him to his class 4-5 people went up to say hi and asked him what happened. If you want to make friends, take the initiative lol. Don't wait for an invitation.

During the Bishan hike, however, i was severely disappointed. Once again, a severe lack of class spirit despite what we've said. I think the PSLs from my class were being too nice to them and they couldn't learn anything. Ben Yong shouted at them and severely scolded one of them. It was a bit surprising since I've never actually heard Ben Yong shout at anyone before. Then Mr. Ng (their FT) had a little talk with them and i hoped they'd wake up a bit.

THey did improve a little throughout the rest of the hike but at the end of the day the few of us still could not help but gave negative feedback.

After we've sent the sec 1s off to bed I went to help with prep for raffles trail and did some stuff for finale (my own comm). wahh bomb we all felt so tired but still had to plough through. Jeremy's damn imba la he forgot how to tie ocean's plait so he went online search... and Bingo! So we tied a few knots and Jeremy hung up his CCA shirts for the trail. This night we really slept for only 3 hours... Many thanks to other scouts who're not from these 2 comms but helped as well =D

then on last day was quite boring luh. nth to talk about. but finale went well so tt's good. i did work without recognition...! but it's fine la haha. it was a bit touching when the 2 batches did unite, spirit and sang the batch song tgt.... sob sob...

well yeah i don't wnat to type so much. those words are an inaccurate description unworthy of encapsulating all tt's happened in the past 3 days... but orientation has been a success! mrs chua said this one of the most well-organised one... kudos to OICs Said & Yuda, our 2 head boys and camp commandants! and the rest of the PSLs la haha =)

oh yes, and i think i shall dao that moron till he apologises... muahaha!

promises...

2007-12-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

are not meant to be broken. not especially if they were made by your close friend. or friends.

sigh throughout this year i got pangseh-ed quite a few times already, so i don't know why i'm even feeling anything about it now. for some reason, i'm still peeved. it's not that you're unwilling to do it, it's the fact you told me you would, before deciding you wouldn't.

and i really think these close friends of mine don't find me half as close as i do of them. but then again i'm so obnoxious sometimes (or most of the times) perhaps i'm just really unbearable and hard/impossible to get along with.

whatever man, i'll try not to let these stupid things get in the way of work, even if i'll be working a lot with these 'close friends' next year. obligations, obligations...

ambivalence

2007-10-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

hmm ok so i've received a few papers back today...

chinese: 85! yay i got my 4.0! first time in 3 years! =)

chem: 79 for the paper... and i got 79 overall... heh missed my 4.0 by 1 mark =(

physics: 51... *emo cries slits wrist*

SS: nearly failed my first question. got full marks for the 2nd. in the end got 23! =P

and math da bomb! mr vijay came in to tell us our class ranks one of the lowest in the batch! i dun think he meant to suan us or anything, but i think he's kinda frustrated we can't do well. some ppl are pretty unhappy with what they're hearing... and i think both sides have their reasons la... w.e the case maybe i got a 2.4, but i'll still try to remain optimistic!

koonz, if u're reading this, cheer up! and any 3K-ians (though i think koonz is the only one)

so basically i did well for the papers other ppl sucked in and i sucked at the papers other ppl owned in. wah dunno what to think now... damn confused >.<

getting back hist + lit + eng tmr... and these are the 3 papers im damn 紧张 about... gah...

i'll bite cheeyeow if i fail.

jap food!

2007-10-13T00:49:00.001+08:00

yay went to sakae with hq cheeyeow and jonathan today!

we sat there and ate for like 3 hours. the food's not bad la... though cheeyeow would have preferred the usual servings of a few cows...

oh and cheeyeow treated me to half the buffet cost! =D

yipee i love them! this makes being 15 really cool for me! thx guys! =)

desolate

2007-10-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

sigh screwed up my lit paper...

so much for ending my EOYs on a high note...

managed to take my mind off on shide's nintendo... damn fun la!

shide if u're reading this, thx for today! or else i'll most prob just emo and rot away...

Sigh oh well in life, there's always the ups and downs. since there's a down, i'll most probably see the up soon! maybe... maybe... i dunno...

just trying to console myself...

i feel wasted.

pathos

2007-10-10T20:15:00.000+08:00

I.found.physics.easy.

Oh.my.god.

I was thinking how happy Burg must have been when he saw the paper...

Anyways lit paper is tmr! The final paper and the one i wish to do well in the most! I seem prepared and yet I can't help but think how high the benchmark would be set at when we sit for the same paper as the litRA peeps... Yeah I know I shouldn't compare but... Ah well =]

Sigh. EOYs. Pathos. =[]

Chemistry?

2007-10-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

chem·is·try /ˈkɛməstri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kem-uh-stree] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -tries.

sympathetic understanding; rapport: the astonishing chemistry between the actors.

any or all of the elements that make up something: the chemistry of love.

uhhh nope im pretty sure this isn't what chemistry is all about...

不值得

2007-10-05T22:48:00.001+08:00

Ordeal

2007-10-03T22:35:00.001+08:00

The mass of black swirl in my mind. Seemingly obscure, yet strangely familiar.

Salad. That's what I had for dinner last night. Yes, that's it. I'm attributing this senselessness to it. Word salad, that's what's going on.

The classroom has transmogrified. I was no longer safe. This is a struggle to survive. Armed with a ballpoint, I sieved out my prey - the strange-looking creatures who term themselves 'equations'.

Unfathomable. Enigmatic. The way they're born to be.

The clock ticks, and with it, the rhythmic pounding of my heart. My attempt at concealing this trepidation has failed. The enemy grins sardonically, as if taunting me, feeding upon my despair and thriving upon it.

Soon, perspiration superseded ink and the questions blurred even further. I forced the nib onto the paper but the sheet was blank. I established a connection at last.

Finally I clear my mind; only as the arbiter cleared his throat.

conclusion

2007-09-30T19:30:00.000+08:00

5 days to the countdown! D-day's coming...

While we can't wait for the EOYs to be over, it is tragic to know we are so close to the literal end of year. It is only when i look back now that i realise how fufilling my sec 3 life has been, and strangely enough, academia is the least of which i attribute this to.

I have got to known a class of 27 people... 27 people with varied talents, diversified personalities and yet all loving in their own way. 3K is significantly different from my previous class; a nice change, though. This is a class which has taught me so much, which has made me realise how much i need to improve in order to catch up to them.

I have got to known my batch of sec 3s from 01 so much more as well...

Enemies turn into friends... friends turn into better friends... and better friends turned into best friends... It is appalling how i have not managed to appreciate you guys previously. On a matter of self-reflection, i have managed to learn so much from you guys as well. I have enjoyed working with you guys, and i look forward to next year when we will all cast aside other restrictions and form the new venture batch, and possibly the best we will have known. Im sry for taking you guys as granted in the past...

I have got to known my juniors so much more with my new position, and of course with it, the empathy i now feel for my seniors who have all been in my predicament. However, no matter how sticky a situation i might be in, i have never felt leadership to be a burden, but a responsibility which i take pride in. I have learnt alot from all you peeps, especially those in Hawk patrol'07. Thanks alot, for the bittersweet memories (sweet mostly heh).

Finally... I have got to known myself so much more. Look around and you'll realise how many opportunities lie hidden, waiting to spring an unexpected lesson upon you. Chew on that people; that's the most important lesson i've learnt this year.

I guess the reason why so many of us are trying hard to do well for this EOYs is so we may conclude our life as a sec 3 resoundingly, proving our abilities to our friends, families, and most importantly, to ourselves.

Let's do this.

Da Man

2007-09-25T18:55:00.001+08:00

Today I went for my first assembly in 3 weeks... and was stunned by the flabbergasting speeches made by the prefect nominees... Indeed these people will never cease to amaze me. I'm fine with all the cliche speeches , since they do make sense and that's what I'll probably do anyway. But, come on, would anyone really vote for a guy who goes up and shouts "Bang Bang! Vote for Wank!"?

Well, anyway, started the day off with propaganda dmp. Jonathan, Joseph, Dehong, Mark, Shuan and I went to stone outside com lab in junior block. Apparently we've gotten the venue wrong. Nope, we didn't do it on purpose, though we weren't really upset about our mistake either. Jonathan, Joseph and I went up to the third floor at admin block and found the place. The others... well... let's just say they'd be better off studying cartography on the micro scale. It would really do them some good.

We were supposed to create our own posters relating to propaganda; to craft a new publicity campaign for the SIA to replace the Singapore Girl as their icon. In the end we just fooled around and didn't accomplish much. Nothing at all, actually. That is unless you would count my maiden attempt at modifying pictures with microsoft paint, which resulted in a poorly drawn plane the size of Bart Simpson's ass heading towards Bart Simpson's ass, something constructive.

After that we (Jonathan, Koala, Haoqin and I) were free till assembly. We were thinking of ponning assembly but guided by our moral conscience we decided against it; such an act simply does not befit our dignified status of noble Rafflesians (hur hur). The 1 hour was mainly spent questioning the 6 prefect candidates from the batch and to determine if they were worth our votes. Well it didn't really affect my judgement; I'm casting a blank vote. I'm not being an arse here... I just don't know them well enough to determine if they're up to the job.

Well anyway so Haoqin and I stayed back for investment dmp later on at 1:45. The first part of the dmp was boring as usual. Sure, the lecturer knew his stuff and was extremely passionate about what he was doing, but being sarb-koalas we just couldn't stay awake.

And yes, finally, we've arrived at the highlight of this post (not much anyway). The Chief Investment Officer of Goldman Sachs Asia, Mr. Fan Jiang, came down specially to give us a talk on his experiences and views on investment. We were all extremely impressed with the way he carried himself and of course, the contents of his speech. He was humorous and yet maintained the sort of composure one would expect from a man like him. In the end we managed to learn loads from him. And he commented we were smart and asked good questions. Hehe some of them were planted by the instructor in case we couldn't ask any. =S

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldman_Sachs (check this out)

Fahrenheit 9/11

2007-09-22T16:23:00.000+08:00

I caught this show during history DMP yesterday.

'Fahrenheit 9/11' is basically a movie proposing the conspiracy theory of George Bush. Personally the show gave me great insights and provided a clearer understanding of American politics. While all along I, along with perhaps the rest of the world, have been thinking that George Bush is but a incompetent president, I've realised I might be wrong -- incompetent as he may be, he may prove to be one hell of a cunning ***.

The show was meant to be humorous -- to gain attention I suppose. Personally I didn't really find it funny, esepcially not when the movie involved the Iraq war and bombings. I think it's scary, actually, that such a man, devoid of compassion, is put into such a position of power. He is unable to justify the reasons for waging war on Iraq and that's how the conspiracy theory came about anyway. His conflicting stands, wishy-washiness simply does not fit the profile of the president of the most powerful country in the world. What should happen if some day Bush were to claim the presence of chemical weapons in Singapore? I mean, it's not probable but hey, isn't that the whole point of CLE lessons on empathy? Like to understand how it's like to be in the other person's shoe? Gah.

Sigh all right enough of this emo-ness. So I had BCG presentation and lit lesson in school day.

The BCG presentations were pretty good. I thought the first team (envirob) was extremely impressive, and I wonder if my team will be able to cope if we were to undertake this project... Oh well if we get in we'll try our best. =)

Lit lesson was... short. It lasted for about an hour and it was more of a re-cap than anything else. During discussion Junyong and Hernwei told me i was being too aggressive... and I didn't even realise! I had absolutely no intent on showing aggression in any way... it was totally subconscious... Ok i really have to consciously check on my behaviour... Hmph.

Shall hardcore physics now! =)

the in-thing

2007-09-19T19:17:00.000+08:00

今天不回家。。。

2007-09-18T20:05:00.000+08:00

i got locked out of my house! again!

sigh im really careless... ended up having to wait 40 minutes for my mom =(
spent that time doing chin-ups and stoning... i feel like a sarb-koala

ok anyway i shall start typing properly because cheeyeow finds my sentences too disjointed and hard to read. =X

investment dmp today was really good. the instructor was really well-prepared, for one, and really passionate and enthusiastic about teaching us. he's only in his early twenties by the looks of it, and yet a successful (i think) businessman! he taught us loads of stuff and tips with regards to investment... alot more helpful than econs dmp i should think (being the pragmatic person i am, hehe)

anyways after that went to join shoujian clinton and junyong at the library. i pulled cheeyeow along with me. as i expected, they didn't get down to much studying. mostly um digressed to... sensitive issues... haha...

since i arrived really late they only stayed for about 45 minutes and we left. i forced cheeyeow to have dinner with me (yes he's my mindless slave) and i took about 1 hour to eat my ban mian... and he went on with his cock-and-bull story of me being anorexic and bullemic... and linked it to weird people. haha cheeyeow's a bugger...

anyways really gta get down to mugging for math and the sciences! focused too much on lit... not gna benefit me... shall go mug now...

campus super-parents

2007-09-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

went out for dinner with my relatives (maternal)

12 ppl in all! been a long time since i saw them... my aunt was like "wah change specs ah nice leh"... i changed this specs quite long ago... must see more of them!

anyway i didn't realise it was my mom's bday today... feel so bad. shall get her a present. so we had a nice meal at the coffeeshop and then a cool mangocake and bday song for both my cousin and mom. happy bday mom (though u won't read this)

and then when we were returning home my parents decided to drop by our 2nd apartment (the one they use to store their goods) to pick sth up. and while we were on it my mom sang a song with the karaoke set... shan't comment since it was my mom... but better than i expected =P they told me they were taking part in a singing comp! so cool!

hope they win. yah. =D

words words words

2007-09-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

ok i was feeling bored so decided to improve my vocab by playing a little game with haoqin... we pick words and make funny sentences to remember the meanings! =)

ineluctable: we are ineluctable from our fate of being devoured by shide one day

ephemeral: the ephemeral feelings of orgasm are short-lived; unless u're jeremy

extropolate: having seen shide and jeremy together, one can extropolate that judgement day is imminent

then haoqin's one was -- when the asseveration was made by the panjandrum of 01, jeremy, the others would have no choice but to acquiesce with him

NOTE THAT HAOQIN TERMED JEREMY AS PANJANDRUM (a self-important or pretentious official)

hehehe =)

Emergency in Darfur

2007-09-14T14:14:00.000+08:00

on propoganda

2007-09-12T16:34:00.000+08:00

had 2 dmps today -- chem bonding and propoganda

chem bonding was... boring... mainly revision of what i've learnt in sec 2... sigh...

but propoganda dmp was super cool!

learnt proper definition of the word we've been using so much

propoganda --> manipulation of public opinion to bring about desired action

popular culture --> culture of the masses (music, radio, movies, etc etc)

and it was only today i realised "where is the love" by BEP is a piece of propoganda... positive example though... go examine the lyrics if u haven't done so =)

interesting lyrics...

2007-09-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

"Waiting On The World To Change"

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

--

night hike

2007-09-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

night hike's over...

started off the activity badly... 8 out of 9 FCSB candidates were late cuz of hike log and that really pissed the GC and teachers off. 8 ppl delaying the entire SU? and the 8 being sec 3s, 5 of which were PLs? if i were the gc i would have owned us on the spot...

anyway so we started the hike off in orchard area which was super crowded (duh). mr tan weng seng screwed us at the first checkpoint for poor behaviour... not that he wasn't right but honestly it's hard not to be a nuisance to the public when you're a group of 60 walking in ri uniform in orchard road.

anyways night hike was just night hike and we walked happily all the way to east coast. must say that after FCSB hike this was super easy... 20 km lol wth. had to take care of my injured sec 1 though... can't imagine how they're going to get past GTC man...

anyways J1s finally had their revelation today... won't say what it is but it was really sad for me... i think jeremy's post was really kinda expected. but i really thought jonathan and i would be able to work tgt next year... not saying that chuyong isn't good... he's really nice and all that but he's just different from trach. nvm it's ok i'll still be working with trach on most projects i suppose... sigh...

oh and the j1s made us down 120 (didn't do a single proper push-up la pls). ivan died at like 40 or sth. cheeyeow collapsed. my arms buckled and my wrists totally dieded. think only trachsel felt fine after that >_>

triple 5!

2007-09-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

just calculated dist. travelled for FCSB hike...

i did 55.5km. w00tz!

tt's like 1 hour by car. it's sad to know i can fall asleep, wake up, and i'd have completed the dist. travelled for my 1 and a half day gruelling hike. but tt's ok. =D

think jonathan did 60... but think i own most of the rest. yay!

looking back, it's no wonder zhongjun died. but for some reason i didn't... felt it was easier than last year gtc! maybe it's becuz i dun have the, for the lack of a better word, burden of a patrol to take care of. gtc meant constant pushing and encouragement to keep the patrol tgt... oh well...

YAY!

Whee...

2007-09-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

Ok this is my 3rd attempt at sustaining a blog... Hope it won't die this time =)

I'm a really boring person... So well.. "Love it or hate it". I shan't care this time.